How to Cope With Sexual Urges When Single..

How to Cope With Sexual Urges When Single..

By Eje Peter 

Well, the obvious answer is masturbation! Research says it’s the safest and easiest way to go. However, masturbating can only do so much. Sometimes people want not only sex but a human touch. While this cost nothing, there is no sense of intimacy and pleasure is limited.

Many single people say the advent of sex toys and gadgets is good news as now, the options are endless. There is no chance of STD if it’s brand new and not shared

However, many say that the use of vibrator and other sexual toys are very addictive. As no man’s penis has the capacity to duplicate the feeling and intensity of a vibrator, this creates unhealthy expectation in heterosexual relationships too.

Other obvious answers includes, Paid Sex and Friends with Benefits. However, wrong this appears, many single people say they engage in it. The downside is that it will cost you and risk of STD is existent in the event condom broke, not worn properly and other STD that spread via mouth etc.

Friends with benefit share the same problems as Paid Sex but cost almost nothing.

However, if you have decided the above is not your lane, which is quite commendable,  try these.

Accept Sexual Urge is Normal

Sexual urges are not sinful or wrong. Whether as a man or woman, you are wired to think about sex. Don’t be ashamed of feeling this way. The first step to controlling your sexual urges would be to first acknowledge and accept them as a physical need that seeks fulfilment. In accepting our sexual desires, we are in a better position to keep our feelings in check.

Prepare to Be Tempted

The battle to be celibate is real and an intense one. We live in a culture that has totally believes sex is to be given and taken freely. Apart from external forces, your body will be tempted to want to indulge. Your peers will think you need to “join in on the fun.” These are normal and how you react to them are important.

Avoid triggers

We are surrounded with obvious signs and sexual innuendos; TV, Social Media, Porn, etc. Identify what can trigger your sexuality and when you know what, when and where you mostly think about sex, you can work hard to steer clear of them. If being alone in a room with a member of the opposite sex brings thoughts of sex, avoid such situations.

Thought Management

Once you identify your thoughts are drifting to sex matters, understand that you can distract yourself. Engage your mind on other things other than sex for such thoughts to vanish. If you find yourself thinking about sex every time you are in bed, you can make a habit of reading in bed so as to divert such thoughts. If you are in class or meeting, start taking notes once you notice your mind is drifting. All in all, don’t beat yourself up for thinking about sex; it’s normal – but don’t let it control you.

Stay busy

Being busy channels your mind away from the urges. If you really need to relax, engage in activities that don’t require a lot of energy such as reading a novel or watching a movie. The aim is to fill up your free time such that you don’t start thinking about sex. Look for ways to turn that sexual urge into creative energy. You can decide to cook, sing, or mend that shirt you love so much. Just as you would channel your anger to something else, so can you channel your sexual desires on other things that excite you.

(TEVB)