A must Read: Marriage as a vocation

By Godwin Onah

I once read somewhere that the shortest wedding was when a Dubai man walked out of the courtroom immediately after the ceremony and into another courtroom to get a divorce decree. The bride’s Father made the man promise that he would allow his wife to work after the marriage. The groom gave the promise a second thought immediately after the vow in court and changed his mind. Isn’t that weird? It reminds me of a book  - “The Marriage that Never Was.”

The social expectation, of as well as the trend is so strong now that single-hood is seen as a taboo. You get to a certain age and people start to put pressure of getting married on these young people as if they have committed terrible crime for not being in a marriage... It’s your turn now o...when are you bringing your husband o..., don’t you have a girlfriend ni..., you are getting too old oo..., I want to carry my grandchildren oo.... As a result, many of them stop attending the church, avoid public occasions, change church/environment, and some even feel they have failed in life, or under a course. Some have rushed into unplanned wedlocks of hurts and regrets because of pressure.

Marriage as it may seem to many is like a social norm and a social practice. Once a person comes of age, one of the things in the "to-be-achieved" list is to get married. Interestingly many don’t wants to be in the church or registry, but everybody wants to be at the reception. And when a marriage hits the rock, we gossip, back off, and condemn them. To see marriage from just a social perspective loses its essence and direction. Marriage must first be understood as a vocation. It is also a call.

Jesus was asked a serious question on marriage in Matthew 19:3-12; ”Is it against the Law for a man to divorce his wife on any pretext whatever?”
Today, we can ask the same question of a woman too; ”Is it against the law for a woman to divorce her husband?” Jesus simply used the creation account in Genesis to answer them that by marriage, man and woman are no longer two but one. And what God has united, no person can divide.

He goes ahead to make a very strong  argument against divorce so much that the disciples said it is better then not to get married. So is being a priest/religious a better and easier life? Is being a single or married a better and easier life? It is a strange human tendency to think that someone else is having a better deal than us. Grass we always feel is greener on the other side. But for Jesus, “It is not everyone who can accept what I have said, but only those to whom it is granted.”

Furthermore, if a person understands that marriage is a calling to a deeper commitment to another person, then finding a partner is good but not something to be rushed into. The world
sees marriages as a civil contract that can be broken for many, many reasons. But a Christian marriage is a covenant. An agreement that lasts until the death of one of the parties. Not to be entered into lightly and, once made, is truly forever.

To “live happily ever after” is not just with marriages, but in whatever state in life, whether single, or widowed, or religious or priesthood, we want to live happily ever after. We are all called to a life of happiness.

So we should look at being faithful not to just our spouse, but more importantly, to marriage/vocation itself. People fail. They sin. Putting all your faith in a person, even your spouse, may result in disappointment. But faith in the covenant of friendship or marriage cannot fail, because that is faith in God who blessed the union.

For those still searching, may they find the good ones. For the singles, may God be their companion. For the unions in conflict, may they find peace.

Good Day🌞 and TGIF.

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In less than 72hours.
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